My momma came to visit!!

The view from my mom's hotel room

Two thumbs up for Ostrich Land

My mom, her fiance and Lauren  

I played tour guide for my momma and John but I couldn't resist acting like a tourist when I saw this.

Please do not play the jukebox when live music is playing. *Thanks Stupid* - the Honey Badger

My mom's last night in California 

My mom w/adopted daughter (my bff) and her daughter 

Loved feeding the Ostriches.. especially the baby ones!

A week has flown by so fast. This time last week I was getting excited because my mom arrived and she was going to come visit me at my work. This was her second trip to California. It was an emotional one.. mostly for me. I think I managed to have a nervous breakdown every night while she was here. I'm emotional to begin with so these extra hormones are making me feel out of control! I'm surprised Los Angeles isn't flooded from all my tears.

I tried my best to play tour guide. Even though this pregnancy has made me impatient (don't get me started on traffic) and this child of mine sits lower and enjoys treating my bladder as a punching bag. I managed to be somewhat helpful with their trip. They saw the Staples Center, Downtown, Hollywood, UCLA, etc. We even managed to take a day trip to Santa Barbara and fed some Ostriches in Solvang. All that I cared about was getting to spend as much time with my momma as I could. All my mom wanted to do was touch my stomach, talk to my stomach and wait to feel him kick. At first I got really annoyed. I mean it's fine if I talk to my stomach but talking to him in the middle of a crowded place seemed a bit strange to me. Towards the end of her visit I was accustomed to my mother being attached to my belly. I actually kind of miss having someone to share those moments when you could feel him moving. 

  

Now, it's back to reality. Back to fighting those daily "baby blues" and finding a way to stay positive when all I want to do is sit and cry hysterically. There's so much that needs to be discussed, planned, etc. I want to nag (because if need be - I excel at it) but I'm afraid of pushing too much or coming off harsh. I feel that since it's summer that everyone but me gets to enjoy it. Going out and having a good time is the last thing on my mind. I kind of miss those carefree days. Now I'm scared of making the wrong the choice. Whether it be what brand of cloth diapers to use, Cribs (Is Ikea really okay?), What stroller is the safest, do I pick the infant car seat or the convertible car seat? I feel like a mad woman and I wish I had one friend who has been down this road that I could talk to. Then I have other worries.. what happens if I go on bed rest who will help out if I need it? How will I pay rent, groceries, etc. I guess everyone has these worries even if you do have someone else to rely on. I'm thankful for the friends who have been understanding and loving through all of this. They've been great lending an ear when needed but never getting too involved or talking bad about the other person. I just have to take a deep breath and dust myself off and stay strong and keep praying that one day things will get better.